Enlight3n.me
Home Zach Liz MorganHere you'll be able to vent, ask for advice, or anything else for that matter as freely as you'd like. When you ask for advice keep in mind either Zach, Morgan, or Liz could answer your question, so if you'd like someone specific, or just a certain genders perspective please specify.
Disclaimer: We're not licensed therapists, we're a few young adults just offering another place to seek help. Everything we say should be taken with a grain of salt, and you should apply it to your life as you feel appropriate.
(In reply to the post where i was debating telling my aunty my problems...with my family)
i can't really do the whole group therapy thing because i've done it once before and my mum is the kind of person that would pretend to understand, but not really change.
so things have worsened a bit and everything i do, i get in trouble for. One of my closest friends is a guy and he often calls me. Yesterday my mum asked who called me, and i jokingly denied it was a guy and she got angry saying that i was untrustworthy and nothing good will come of my future if i behave so secretly and don't share things with her. The reason i don't is because i know her reaction, i know how she judges how my cousins behave and I don't want her to go all insane on me. She keeps saying that i need to get off my high horse and just because i have a job, go to uni and can drive doesn't mean i'm better than everyone else. I really don't understand how to go about addressing this. and recently my younger sister started telling me to F*** off and to get out, because no one wants me at home, because I never help anyone and I'm selfish. My dad doesn't do much. he keeps saying he doesn't want to get in the middle of things (my parents are divorced) and i haven't had an opportunity to talk to my aunty.
I'm getting so fed up of being at home i don't know what to do. Sorry about it being such a long post. i feel so alone.
and thank you for your earlier advice"
Answer:
I am so sorry you have to deal with it like this. If therapy is what you need, how selfish of your mother to deprive that of you. I wish I could personally refer you to someone. Hell, if you lived here I’d drive you to see someone. No child should have to endure mental and emotional abuse. Especially from parents. I won’t get into detail, but I know what it’s like. I know what it’s like to have a defiant parent who doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with them. They’re always right. What they say goes. It’s tough, I get it. But I never allowed myself to be bullied to silence. You have to keep trying and trying and reaching out to different, trustworthy people. You can’t give up because they say so. You need to keep moving forward until you reach what you’re looking for. That applies to everything in life. Don’t let this be an exception. Don’t give up please!
Oh and, your father should be trying to do something. Not wanting to get into the middle of it is irrelevant, you’re his daughter. That’s enough jurisdiction for him to intervene and help you. I think you should aim for your dad first. If all fails, keep reaching out.
<3 -Liz
♥ / Tue May 10th, 2011 ≡ reblogAnswer:
This sort of pertains to a question I answered a few Q’s down. Rejection doesn’t have to be dreadful! It could be something as positive as a lesson and a push to thicken your skin and harden your head. It’s a way of life and relationships. You don’t know what could happen! So just ask! Widen your comfort zone and be brave. Just try. And do it in a way where you’re comfortable. You don’t have to be completely upfront and blunt, but mention it seriously. And always remember, if the rejection hurts then move along and find someone that will love you with undivided attention. G’luck -Liz
♥ / Mon May 9th, 2011 ≡ reblogAnswer:
I think you’re spot on. Sounds like he was too shy to make it seem like a date, so he invited a 3rd wheel (lol, poor other girl). If you notice he’s lookin’ and likin’ what he’s seein’ then say something! You could tell him you feel the same way (if you do, idk) or that you’re confused about it, whatever. Maybe he really does like you. But if you don’t feel the same way, you just don’t. And there’s nothing he can do about it. But to be honest, we could be reading him wrong. Guys don’t think the same way we girls do. Maybe it was just friendly. Who knows. I say, if he asks you and a friend out again just go along with it. Friendly or something more, at least he’s being straightforward to ask you! -Liz
♥ / Mon May 9th, 2011 ≡ reblogAnswer:
Ahhhh this is a tough one. I have a few friends who’ve all had (and have) boyfriends in the military. I’ll try to give you what I can from what I know so bare with me.
You could webcam. I don’t know how much free time one may have during training but there’s got to be at least an hour a day to set aside to cam with family and friends. I would check on that. And if you can’t…
Write letters, send photographs and objects. Call on the phone and talk for about an hour or so. You don’t have to lose contact completely! I’m sure there’s ways around it. Call around, look online or just ask him the next time you two can talk and arrange ‘webcaming sessions’ or something. I think those spirts of contact could make you happy. :3 It usually does from what I see in my friends. I wish I knew more about it, but I hope I helped! -Liz
♥ / Mon May 9th, 2011 ≡ reblogAnswer:
I think rejection isn’t as scary as some people should think it is. It has to happen. It’s the force (or, in some cases, the shove) that knocks us into reality that hey, sometimes the answer is no and that’s okay. You don’t know what will happen if you don’t try! And if he does reject you, go out and meet a guy that deserves you and is right for you even if you have to wait. Trust me, just go for it. You’ve got everything to gain (if you think about it). -Liz
♥ / Mon May 9th, 2011 ≡ reblogAnswer:
That’s not too far you guys could see each other fairly often I would go for the full relationship he seems to make you happy, and he seems good for you so I would definitely go after him. - Zach
♥ / Mon May 2nd, 2011 ≡ reblog
